Good boy, good mommy!

Here's a thought. If people congratulate me when Conor is having a good day and doing great things for a kid affected pretty significantly with autism, do I have to take credit for when he's not doing so well? I mean, do I deserve the pat on the back when he's behaving in a pleasant manner and, conversely, is it my fault when he's not?
Do parents of typical kids have this dilemma? Dealing with Aidan (my typical child) can be a challenge (does he have to cry every day he doesn't have a soccer game?). But it's nothing compared to Conor's challenges. (Is he hungry? sick? tired? Why is he trying to leave the house all the time? Can't he enjoy other kids when we visit our friends' houses? Why does he have a better relationship with our friends' ceiling fans than with their children?) So much of Conor's life experiences are out of my control or influence. Yet, I feel responsible for all of them.
So this is for the parents who tell the moms and dads that they're doing a great job when their child is behaving well. Try to tell the parents that they're doing a great job when their kid is not behaving so great.